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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25714936">counterfeit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyomelette/pseuds/spicyomelette'>spicyomelette</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Crossdressing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Jeon Wonwoo is riduculous, Junhui is so whipped, M/M, Pretend Disabilty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:14:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,484</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25714936</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyomelette/pseuds/spicyomelette</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Helping out a desperate housemate was one thing. Agreeing to meet the parents as his girlfriend while you were, in fact, a man and, unfortunately, had this undying crush on said housemate was another thing altogether.  </p><p>Or in which Junhui made shitty life choices</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>counterfeit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm recycling some of my old works. This one is one of my favorites. I've made several changes and since this is an AU, the boys might come off a bit OOC. I am a fan of Junhui's long hair, although it's been so long since he had it long. He was so pretty /sighs</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Sunday, August 24, 2020. 6.07 PM]  </p><p>“I told you I’d look weird,” Junhui stated unflatteringly, frowning at his reflection in the full body mirror.  </p><p>Jeon Wonwoo, Junhui realized not for the first time since they graduated from university and Wonwoo had told him they should get an apartment together like it had been the most brilliant idea ever, was a cruel man. Otherwise he wouldn’t have it in him to look at Junhui from head to toe and freaking smirked like a proud boyfriend. </p><p>“You look beautiful,” he said sincerely. As if that would make Junhui feel better about his hair and the tight dress. Shit, it was hard to breathe. Why the female population was so fond of body-hugging little dresses was beyond Junhui’s comprehension. Giving Junhui another appraising look, Wonwoo went on, “We need to get you a bra.”  </p><p>“A what??”  </p><p> </p><p>Oh well. Let’s backtrack a little to figure out how Junhui found himself in this particular situation, shall we?  </p><p>* </p><p>[Friday, August 22, 2020. 5.44 PM] </p><p>Junhui put off glaring at his housemate in order to grab the glass of water in front of him and took several gulps in one go. The sweet and spicy chicken he’d been chewing on had gone down the wrong way after Wonwoo conveniently conveyed his ‘request’ to him. He coughed and patted his chest a few times. Damn that hurt. Once he’d gotten himself under control, Junhui gave Wonwoo an incredulous look.  </p><p>“You didn’t just ask me that,” said Junhui in disbelief.  </p><p>“I really did,” Wonwoo said. He put his chopsticks down with all the calmness in the world and went on to look at Junhui expectantly. “Say you’re going to help me.”  </p><p>“Are you crazy? There’s no way I’m going to do it!” Junhui said, earning himself a few odd looks from the other patrons since he’d forgotten to keep his voice down.  </p><p>Junhui had thought it was a little strange that Wonwoo texted him at work earlier that day, saying he would pick Junhui up and take him to dinner. Wonwoo was not the generous housemate type. Junhui had to be extra sneaky just to use Wonwoo’s lotion every morning before going to work. Nor was he the spontaneous type. Wonwoo would never willingly take Junhui out and feed him good food unless he wanted something out of it. But, <em> what the hell</em>, thought Junhui. Even all the sweet and spicy chicken in the world wouldn’t be enough bribery to get Junhui to do what Wonwoo just asked of him. </p><p>“Please, Junhui. You’re my best friend. Who else would help me out if my best friend wouldn’t?”  </p><p>“Find a new best friend. I’m not doing it for you,” Junhui insisted. He dug back into his chicken and ignored Wonwoo’s pleading look. Well, more like, tried very hard to ignore him and failing spectacularly at it. After a few bites, Junhui put his fork down and sighed. “Look, dude. I’m a <em> guy. </em>  Tell me why you asked <em>me </em>instead of, I don’t know, a girl,” he said, already knowing he was going to regret this.  </p><p>One of the rules to survival Junhui had learned from Dealing with Jeon Wonwoo 101 was to never try to reason with him. The guy would always find something reasonable to say, no matter how unlikely the circumstances were. And Junhui would always cave in the end. But wise was not a word one would associate with Junhui anyway. He always made bad decisions and regretted them in the end. To make matters worse, the closer his proximity to Wonwoo was, the worse his ability to make the right decisions would be. People said being in love made you stupid. Junhui was experiencing it first hand and not enjoying it the least bit.  </p><p>“Because you are the only person I ask. You’re my best friend. You don’t want my parents to marry me off to some girl I’m not interested in the slightest,” Wonwoo said. “And they will, if I don’t prove it to them I already have someone. You know how they’ve been urging me to settle down for the last two years.”   </p><p>Junhui did indeed not want Wonwoo to marry some girl his parents would pick for him. Well, any girl, for that matter, really. But Wonwoo didn’t need to know the real reason for that, since it would only cause unnecessary complications and possible heartache on Junhui’s end.  </p><p>“It still does not explain how I can help you with that,” Junhui said instead. “You might have missed the little detail that I lack some important female bits, but I doubt that.” </p><p>“You look pretty enough to be a girl. We just need to get you some girl clothes and do something about your hair,” Wonwoo provided readily. “And put a little make up on you.” </p><p>Junhui’s manly pride bristled at being called looking girly. Yet, the not so tiny part of him which was more than a little in love with Wonwoo swooned at the backhanded compliment. He mentally thumped that part with an imaginary mallet. Repeatedly.  </p><p>“Okay. You could dress me up and make me look like a pretty girl all you want. Well, a super tall pretty girl. But you forgot once I speak a single word even the cutest dress in the world wouldn’t be able to hide the fact that I’m a man.”  </p><p>Instead of falling, Wonwoo’s expression only brightened up by a triumphant smirk that gave Junhui the suspicion that he had to be on to something.  </p><p>“Weeell,” Wonwoo trailed off a bit dramatically. “I told my parents that I’m seeing this really nice girl who is, unfortunately, a mute. They were a bit remorseful about that but after I explained to them that it doesn’t matter at all and that she’s very good to me, they told me they want to meet this girl and get to know her.”  </p><p>“You did not,” said Junhui.  </p><p>“I really did,” Wonwoo said solemnly. “And I told them your name’s Jennie. It sounds really close to Junnie anyway, so it should be okay even if I slip and call you Junnie.”  </p><p>“What? You – damn it. You planned this?” Junhui said, flabbergasted.  </p><p>Wonwoo produced a white envelope from his bag. “I even bought our tickets. We leave in two weeks. You wouldn’t turn down a free vacation to Korea now would you?” Wonwoo said winningly.  </p><p>Junhui glared at the tickets and then at the owner of the hand presenting them to him. “You bastard,” he whispered furiously. “You set me up!”  </p><p>Wonwoo had the gall to look sheepish after Junhui’s silent outrage. “Please, Junnie. Just help me out this once. I really don’t want to bring some random girl to meet my parents. And I don’t want them to pester me to meet any girl when I’m there.”   </p><p>“So you want me to pose as your nonexistent girlfriend in front of them? Dude, you’re crazy. Completely mental, that you are,” Junhui argued, still refusing to give in despite feeling his resistance slipping.  </p><p>“Come on, Junhui. I’ll owe you big time for this. Next month’s rent is on me. What do you say?”  </p><p>“Make it the next two months.”   </p><p>“Okay. You don’t need to pay rent for the next two months. And I’ll still owe you one after that.”  </p><p>“Deal,” Junhui said, and proceeded to finish up his chicken.  </p><p>After all, free foods were the best foods.  </p><p>And for a moment, Junhui forgot that he was about to do something that would get himself into a lot of uncomfortable situations, and cause him a great deal of pain. But that was the thing about crappy life choices. You didn’t realize they were crap until it was too late.  </p><p>* </p><p>[Sunday, August 24, 2020. 6.08 PM] </p><p>“I’m not wearing a bra.” Junhui shook his head vehemently. “No fucking way.” </p><p>Wonwoo gave him a disdainful look.  </p><p>“It’s really a relief that you’re not going to talk in front of my parents. I don’t need to worry about them being subjected to your potty mouth,” he said. “And, Junhui, your chest is so unmistakably flat. Of course we need you to wear a bra with some padding to give onlookers a glimpse of some breast. I think a smaller size will do. You’re a bit on the skinny side, after all.” </p><p>“Thanks so fucking much,” Junhui said flatly.  </p><p>It was irrational to feel insulted by Wonwoo’s off-handed implication that female-Junhui would have small breasts since he was skinny. But Junhui felt that way nonetheless.  </p><p>“I’m not shopping for girl’s underwear with you,” he told Wonwoo.  </p><p>“It’s fine. I’ll just by them online,” Wonwoo said, unperturbed, and picked his tablet computer up from the night stand. “Now let me find out the right size for you.”  </p><p>Junhui shuddered, then immediately stormed out of Wonwoo’s bedroom. He slammed the door shut for good measure.  </p><p>A moment later, however, he scampered back into the room and demanded that Wonwoo help him take the damn dress off and release his too long hair from the clutches of the evil zipper.  </p><p>* </p><p>[Monday, August 25, 2020. 9.04 AM]  </p><p>Minghao gave Junhui a look the moment he stepped into work. He stilled his hands on the straps of his backpack to keep them from tugging at his hair, which he’d pulled up into a messy bun at the back of his head. Some strands had escaped and Junhui had had to tuck them at the back of his ear, but fuck if that didn’t make him feel even more like a girl.  </p><p>“Your hair grew a lot over the weekend,” Minghao stated with obvious curiosity.  </p><p>Junhui only grunted at his partner and made his way to the office at the back of the studio.  </p><p>“Seriously though,” said Minghao, who’d apparently followed Junhui to the office. “How come your hair grew so much in two days?”  </p><p>“It’s called hair extension, Hao,” said Junhui in exasperation. “Now can you just drop it and kindly inform me of your progress on the last wedding shots? I remember you promised you would have them done Monday morning. Monday morning is here.”  </p><p>God, he sounded like Wonwoo. He’d been around the guy too much he even sounded like him when he spoke. Junhui shook himself to dispel the weird feeling and sat down on his comfortable black leather working chair.  </p><p>“I was out of town during the weekend, so I didn’t get time to work on them. And I’ve told you this more often than I like to count, but we should hire an assistant. I’m tired of doing the dirty work all the time. I know we earn more than enough to hire one more person,” said Minghao. “And why on earth did you get a hair extension all of a sudden?”  </p><p><em> Because I agreed to be my housemate’s fake girlfriend and he’d somehow convinced me to get a hair extension two freaking weeks early to get used to having longer hair</em>, Junhui didn’t say.  </p><p>It was utterly ridiculous now that he thought about it. Now his hair reached just below his shoulder blades in wavy dark brown threads when he let it down. Junhui didn’t fancy pondering over how such a single change had made his features look softer and more feminine. He swore to never keep his hair down anywhere public before stepping foot in South Korea. And the first thing he would do the moment they were back was to get a haircut and gain his normal appearance back.  </p><p>“Okay, fine. Put up an ad or something. And I can get an extension whenever I want. Didn’t I tell you to drop it? Now, when are you going to get the photos done? They’re scheduled to be picked up tomorrow, Hao.”  </p><p>“Actually, I know someone who’s perfect for the job. He’s still in university, but I guess he can work part time. Should I call him in for an interview? And I’ll finish them today, okay? God, you’re prissy.”  </p><p>“Good. I want them printed, cut, and on my desk this afternoon. Tell the guy to come tomorrow at two.” </p><p>“You’re the boss.” Minghao gave him a rude two finger salute and sauntered out of the office.  </p><p>Junhui took out his laptop from his backpack. He pulled at the bun at the back of his head while waiting for his laptop to finish booting. He’d tied it too tight. Wonwoo had offered to help him tie his hair this morning but Junhui had refused. It would feel too intimate, having Wonwoo’s hands on his hair. Had the circumstances been different, if Junhui had not been stuck in this weird friendship with Wonwoo, if Junhui knew for sure he could tell Wonwoo how he actually felt about him and had his feelings returned, Junhui would love to have Wonwoo’s hands on his hair all the time. Damn, not just his hair. He would love to have Wonwoo’s hands on any part of him all the time.  </p><p>It wasn’t that Wonwoo never touched him. They were a pretty tactile pair, always bumping shoulders and casually putting their hands on the other’s back or arm, or even thigh, while they were together. Wonwoo liked to sling an arm over Junhui’s shoulder when they were with friends on occasional weekend meetups. Or rest his head on Junhui’s shoulder, sometimes. But those were different. Those gestures were all casual, all in the friendly zone. Even though their ‘touchy-feely’-ness sometimes earned them a few teasing remarks from their other friends, Junhui knew Wonwoo never meant the touching to be more than friendly. Although, to tell the truth, Wonwoo sometimes frustrated the hell out of Junhui with all the touching. Especially when he kept touching Junhui even though his date was right there with them.  </p><p>Junhui didn’t date. Most of his friends had questioned him at some point whether he was asexual. Which of course he was not, and he had firmly told his friends so. He’d tried dating in the first two years of university. But he didn’t really enjoy the awkwardness and uncertainty of first dates, especially when he just knew he wouldn’t want to go on a second date with the person. After a while, he just decided it wasn’t worth it and stopped dating altogether.  </p><p>It had been easier in high school. He’d had his fair share of ex-girlfriends then. And he had not been aware of his inclinations toward the male half of the population. High school graduate Wen Junhui was so secure in his heterosexuality, he never bothered to check out guys he saw on the streets. Why should he? They all had the same equipment as he did after all. It was only in his first year in university that he got to know a certain Jeon Wonwoo and all Junhui’s proverbial hell broke loose.   </p><p>It had been attraction at first sight, and that alone had been disturbing enough. But it had also been easy friendship upon first encounter and Junhui simply could not get away despite his better judgment. Thus began Junhui’s journey into the dark and depressing place called unrequited love. It was more one sided than unrequited, to tell the truth, since Junhui never did find out how Wonwoo felt about him. But calling it one sided would just give Junhui hope and that was just not on. Because Jeon Wonwoo, the infuriating and obliviously cruel guy that he was, had done enough actions that misled poor naïve Junhui into thinking that the guy might like him back. Like, all the touching. And calling Junhui his date when they were hanging out with their friends while Wonwoo was dateless. And, well, all the touching. Which, as already established, was all meant in a friendly way and not in the ‘I like you back so I’m touching you all the time’ way.  </p><p>Junhui, despite his reluctance to date anyone (except Wonwoo, but well, no one knew about that besides Junhui himself), was pretty open about being gay to his friends. His attraction to Wonwoo had opened a new door Junhui hadn’t been aware existed. And he could admit now that he did appreciate fit and good-looking guys like other gay guys. He did not think it was funny that Wonwoo casually called Junhui ‘baby’ in front of their friends. And even in front of his date, at times. He really couldn’t understand how Wonwoo would think so. Junhui couldn’t even guess what the guy was thinking half the time, though. So Junhui had decided to just let it be the default state of things rather than try to figure out the workings of Wonwoo’s brain. Besides, Wonwoo’s mind was most probably a very weird place. Junhui would rather not go there. </p><p>So, yeah. It was just better for the wellbeing of Junhui’s already battered heart to not hope. And Junhui had been trying to do that. Trying being the operative word here. The success rate was marginal at best. And borderline pathetic most of the times, really. But <em>that</em>, Junhui realized with resignation sometime in his second year of silently pining over Jeon Wonwoo, was also the default state of things.   </p><p>Noticing that his laptop had finished booting, Junhui forcefully shoved all thoughts of Wonwoo to the very back of his brain and got to work. </p><p>*</p><p>[Saturday, September 6, 2020. 11.49 AM]  </p><p>The custom officer eyed Junhui funny when checking his passport. Junhui gritted his teeth and forced a smile. He did not look that much different from the person in his passport picture, damn it. There was no need to give him that look. He didn’t even have his fake breast on. Yet.  </p><p>Fortunately, the guy didn’t ask questions and wordlessly handed Junhui’s passport back after finishing his inspection. Junhui mumbled a halfhearted thank you and made his way to the already waiting Wonwoo.  </p><p>“You should change now,” Wonwoo said as soon as Junhui stepped next to him. He was a shopping bag containing Junhui’s change of clothes in the other.  </p><p>“Can’t it wait?” asked Junhui.  </p><p>“My cousin is picking us up. You need to be a girl when you meet,” said Wonwoo in a level tone and handed Junhui the shopping bag.  </p><p>Junhui suppressed a groan and snatched the bag rather forcefully from his housemate. He found a deserted women restroom and entered an empty stool. He took off his T-shirt and eyed the outfit Wonwoo had picked for him. Wonwoo had given up on making Junhui wear another dress after Junhui’s insistent refusal following the disastrous zipper incident. The blouse was long enough to reach his thighs, which was useful in covering a certain bulge in the crotch area. It was made of some really soft material; was it satin? It looked like it. Trust Wonwoo to throw away money on girl clothes that wouldn’t even be of use after all this travesty was over. Or maybe he was planning on giving them to his next girlfriend or whatever, who knew? Junhui shrugged off that particular thought and went on to rummage the shopping bag for the underwear he was sure Wonwoo wouldn’t forget. Once he’d found the bra (and the padding), Junhui took a deep breath and slowly let it out, then proceeded to tackle the complexity of putting on female clothes. At least it wasn’t a dress. Junhui supposed he should count his blessings.  </p><p>Twenty minutes later Junhui walked out. His outfit was quite nice. The blouse was soft on his shaved skin, and the denim pants were not too tight. The bra gave him this weird feeling like it was hard to breathe, but if Junhui didn’t think about it he could almost ignore its existence. He’d let his hair down and put on some makeup. Wonwoo had given him some free lessons, though unwillingly on Junhui’s part. But Junhui really couldn’t deny the wonder putting on the tiniest bit of makeup could do to change how someone looked. Staring into the mirror, Junhui had been a bit awed by the girl looking back at him. He’d changed his sneakers with a pair of flat shoes. All in all, he looked like a girl to any pair of eyes that was looking his way. Well, except Wonwoo’s, obviously.  </p><p>He awkwardly made his way to his housemate. Wonwoo was giving him that look, the one that made Junhui’s inside squirm, and Junhui scowled at the guy to cover his self-consciousness. Not acknowledging Junhui’s displeasure, Wonwoo smiled in satisfaction and reached out a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Junhui’s left ear.  </p><p>“You look nice,” he told Junhui. Then he offered his hand and said, “Let’s go.”  </p><p>Junhui took two seconds to brace himself before taking Wonwoo’s offered hand. It was a little silly since this was not their first time holding hands, but looking at their intertwined hands, Junhui felt thrilled nonetheless. As they made their way to the exit, Junhui hoped like hell that Wonwoo could not feel his escalating heartbeat.  </p><p>Wonwoo’s cousin was really tall, and as excited to see Wonwoo as a puppy that had just gotten a little toy bone to play with. The moment the guy caught sight of them walking out of the arrival gate, Wonwoo was tackled by the almost two-meter-tall man-child who immediately burst into rapid-fire Korean which Junhui did not understand the slightest. Feeling awkward, Junhui took a look at his surroundings in attempt to distract himself while waiting for the dramatic reunion to be done with.  </p><p>When he focused his attention back to the two cousins, he found himself being subjected to a pair of curious eyes. Wow, Junhui thought, what a handsome face. Junhui was about to open his mouth to produce a greeting when he caught himself, remembering he was supposed to be mute. </p><p>The smile Wonwoo’s cousin broke into transformed his face so completely, Junhui was almost convinced this guy was actually a real puppy despite having the look of a runway model. </p><p>“Hello,” he greeted Junhui in an accented English. “I’m Mingyu, Wonwoo-hyung’s younger cousin. Nice to meet you!”  </p><p>Junhui only smiled and titled his head in a slight bow. Man, but this was awkward. His hair fell over his shoulder, dark brown strands curtaining the side of his face. Junhui found himself wondering not for the first time what he had gotten himself into.  </p><p>* </p><p>[Saturday, September 6, 2020. 10.16 PM] </p><p>Junhui threw himself face first onto the bed and let out a huge sigh of relief. He believed he had just spent the longest and most unnerving ten hours of his life and survived. It was rather miraculous, Junhui thought, that he managed to keep himself from blurting out even a single word during the ten hours he had been subjected to the attention of Wonwoo’s whole family – which consisted of his parents, his cousin Mingyu, and Mingyu’s parents, who for some reason had decided they should be present when Wonwoo formally introduced his ‘girlfriend’ to his parents. Junhui wondered how they would have reacted had he slipped and actually spoken. He shuddered and pushed the mental image to the far back of his mind.  </p><p>“The shower’s empty,” Wonwoo’s voice pulled Junhui out of his musing. Junhui turned his head and found himself facing a half naked and still wet Jeon Wonwoo, who did not appear the slightest bit self-conscious sauntering out of the bathroom with only a towel slung low on his slender hips. There was such thing as overconfidence, Junhui believed, and Jeon Wonwoo might have a moderate case of narcissistic personality disorder. That, however, did not stop him from openly ogling the expanse of naked skin on display under the pretense of glowering at Wonwoo.  </p><p>God, the guy was so perfect Junhui got a little breathless looking at him in a single towel and nothing else. Wonwoo turned away to rummage his suitcase for clothes, displaying his equally half-naked back. Junhui could see the muscles on his back ripple as Wonwoo’s shoulder blades moved, and Junhui felt his chest tighten at the sight. Though, now that he was no longer actively trying to ignore its existence, it could have been the bra he was still wearing.  </p><p>Junhui got up to a sitting position and took the blouse off without ceremony. Damn it, how did he take off the bra? He bent his arms backwards and tried to reach the tiny clasps on the middle-upper part of his back. However, his arms were not used to bending that way, so he managed to hold onto the straps for a moment but had to retreat his hands before he could unhook the thing. He tried several more times, but his hair kept on getting in the way. Frustrated, Junhui let out a low growl and called out, “Help me take off the fucking bra before I decide to tear this thing into pieces. Please.”  </p><p>Wonwoo, still half naked but was now wearing a pair of low slung flannel pants, turned around and gave Junhui his raised eyebrow, ‘you’re being ridiculous’ look. Then his expression changed into something Junhui couldn’t read as he noticed Junhui’s equal state of half-nakedness, with the black lacy bra in contrast with his pale skin, the padding noticeable where Junhui’s (nonexistent) cleavage should be.  </p><p>“Are you trying to seduce me with your fake breast and filthy mouth?” Wonwoo asked evenly, but Junhui caught the glint in his eyes and knew Wonwoo was actually teasing him rather than being serious.  </p><p>“Shut the fuck up and come here,” he said.  </p><p>Wonwoo obliged and made his way to the bed.  </p><p>“Turn around,” he ordered Junhui, who glared at him but did as he was told anyway.  </p><p>“I can’t believe your parents actually get us to room together,” Junhui said a little distractedly as Wonwoo’s fingers worked at the straps of his bra. They felt cool against Junhui’s back and he had to suppress a shiver as Wonwoo’s knuckles brushed his skin.  </p><p>“They assumed we’ve slept in the same room countless times before, so they don’t see the difference putting you and me in separate rooms would make. Besides, I imagine they’re hoping that we give them a grandchild soon,” Wonwoo offered calmly just before his hands left Junhui’s back and Junhui could feel the tightness around his chest disappear. There was some lingering feeling of breathlessness, but that was more due to Wonwoo’s proximity to his naked back rather than anything else. Junhui ignored that feeling and opted to react to what Wonwoo had just said instead.  </p><p>“Oh my God, your poor parents,” he moaned dramatically as he turned around. “And what are you going to tell them once we ‘break up’ before there is any grandchild to speak of?”  </p><p>“Don’t burden yourself, it will be my problem. By the time I have to explain that to them, you will be out of the picture. Well, the female you anyway,” said Wonwoo.  </p><p>Junhui gave Wonwoo a dirty look and kicked him on the shin. He ignored Wonwoo’s pained 'ouch’ and got off from the bed.  </p><p>“I’m taking a shower,” he said, making his way to the bathroom. He managed to not slam the bathroom door only after reminding himself the whole house might hear and he did not need the questioning that would most probably follow.   </p><p>Once in the shower, Junhui replayed the event earlier in his mind and shook his head. Normally Junhui would be happy to be kept out of Wonwoo’s family problems. It was not that he didn’t care, but the other’s family matter was something the two of them never interfered with. He didn’t understand why it stung as much as it did, hearing Wonwoo saying Junhui would be out of the picture as easily as he just did. Maybe it was because Junhui had now seen Wonwoo’s family in person. He’d just been around them for ten hours and he’d accidentally thought himself a part of them. What a fool.  </p><p>It was actually rather pleasant, being around Wonwoo’s family even though he couldn’t understand a single thing they were saying aside from the occasional ‘yes’, ‘pretty’, ‘good’, and ‘delicious’ mentioned once in a while.  </p><p>When they arrived from the airport, Wonwoo’s whole family had welcomed them on the foyer and Wonwoo’s mom had looked at Junhui with this assessing stare one would give in their first meeting with their potential daughter-in-law. It had felt like years before she broke into this very nice smile and beckoned Junhui to step closer. When Junhui did, he was pulled into a firm and warm hug and Wonwoo’s mom said something in Korean. Wonwoo translated for him, and Junhui had nearly broken into tears because she had said, ‘You’re a very fine young woman. Thank you for looking after my son’ to Junhui.  </p><p>After that, everyone ushered them to come inside and a small feast ensued. Which involved dishes of delicious food Junhui wouldn’t have any trouble finishing on his own had he not been pretending to be a proper young woman in her first dinner with her future in-laws. He still managed to eat quite a lot, since Wonwoo’s mom would put bits of meat or vegetables on his bowl every so often, saying what Mingyu told him meant ‘Eat more, you need more meat in that skin’.  </p><p>Not being expected to speak turned out to be a good thing, Junhui reflected, as he would probably make an ass of himself had his mouth been given a free rein to spout out the nonsense as he did on a regular basis. And no one asked him difficult questions, since he wouldn’t be able to answer. As a result, all explaining responsibility fell onto Wonwoo’s shoulder, and the guy spent almost half the day alternatively answering and fending off questions from either his or Mingyu’s mother. Mingyu would occasionally whisper translations to Junhui and Junhui gave him a grateful look because as nice as not being expected to explain things was, he felt a little lost in all the Korean being flung left and right.  </p><p>They were all nice people, Wonwoo’s family was. Junhui felt a pang of guilt stabbing him in the chest realizing that he was deceiving every one of them. Their hospitality and acceptance were not directed at him, but at the woman he was pretending to be. And Junhui was not that woman. Junhui was a man. He might love Wonwoo just as much as the woman him supposedly did, but he was a man and the fact changed everything. Wonwoo didn’t even know Junhui felt that way toward him. Junhui didn’t know what missing something he never had felt like before this, but now he understood why people said it hurt.   </p><p>When Junhui walked out of the bathroom, Wonwoo was sitting on the right side of the bed, reading a book with his back against the headboard. He had his glasses on. Damn, he looked really good wearing glasses; Junhui almost forgot that he was pissed at him. With great effort he managed to look away and make his way to his suitcase to look for something comfortable to sleep in. He found a pair of shorts and a worn t-shirt that he’d decided to bring at the last moment. He’d rather sleep wearing a tank top or shirtless, to be honest. But Junhui was not going to sleep in the same bed with Wonwoo without wearing a shirt, thank you very much. He was already in a quite uncomfortable situation; he did not want to complicate matters. </p><p>Wonwoo noticed him, finally, and put his book down on his lap. “Hey. You don’t mind that I picked this side of the bed, do you?” he said.  </p><p>“No,” said Junhui. “I’m fine with either side. A bed’s a bed.” He made his way to his side of the bed and hoped really hard that his face didn’t show how nervous he was actually feeling. This would be the first time he and Wonwoo slept in the same bed. They’d been living together for two years, and had fallen asleep in the living room together more times than he could count, but they had never shared a bed before.  </p><p>“What time are we expected to be up tomorrow?” asked Junhui as he made himself comfortable.  </p><p>“I assume my mom will come knocking on the bedroom door by seven o’clock,” said Wonwoo, eyes already back on his book.  </p><p>Junhui groaned. “Seven o’clock. Great. I should go to sleep now then.”  </p><p>“Good idea,” said Wonwoo. Junhui saw him placing his bookmark on the page he was currently reading before closing the book and putting it on the nightstand. Junhui turned to his side so his back was facing Wonwoo, feeling too awkward to look at him. Besides, he felt if Wonwoo saw his face, Wonwoo would definitely notice that he was having a mini freak out.  </p><p>Junhui closed his eyes and willed his heartbeat to slow down. Come on, he told himself. He’d known Wonwoo for years and had been living with him for two of them. He’d seen Wonwoo drunk out of his mind and witnessed how unattractive a hungover Wonwoo was. Well, he’d never known of someone who looked attractive while barfing their guts out but that was beside the point.  </p><p>Junhui felt Wonwoo getting out of the bed and a moment later the room turned dark. The bed dipped a little when Wonwoo got back in the bed, but Junhui was too busy pretending to be asleep feel bothered.  </p><p>“Hey, Junnie,” Wonwoo said so softly it almost sounded like a whisper.  </p><p>“Hmm?” Junhui hummed and refused to turn around. He was pretending to sleep, wasn’t he? </p><p>“Thank you for today,” said Wonwoo. There was a rustle of movement before Junhui felt something on the side of his head. It was only for a single second and it was so light Junhui was not sure if he had not been imagining it. But then he heard Wonwoo’s voice right next to his ear, saying, “Good night, Junnie.” and Junhui disintegrated.  </p><p>What the hell?  </p><p>Jeon Wonwoo just kissed him good night.  </p><p>What. The. Fucking. Hell.  </p><p>Junhui wanted to turn around and demand that Wonwoo explain what on earth just happened, but he was too busy falling into a million blissful pieces.  </p><p>* </p><p>[Sunday, September 7, 2020. 8.19 AM] </p><p>“Noona, look at this one,” said an overenthusiastic Mingyu, beckoning Junhui to take a look at the photo album on his lap. Junhui scooted closer and looked at the particular picture Mingyu was showing him. It was of a young Wonwoo, he looked around nine or ten, glaring at the camera. He looked exactly like the grown-up version who was currently sitting across from them at the other side of the coffee table, glaring at them. Junhui wished so hard he could speak and point out the frightening similarity to Wonwoo but since he could not, he opted to give Wonwoo an amused look instead. In the interval of two days Junhui had mastered the art of laughing with his eyes. The ensuing effect was almost as satisfactory as laughing out loud. Almost.  </p><p>Wonwoo’s mother said something from Junhui’s other side. Junhui looked at her, then turned to look at Mingyu questioningly. But it was Wonwoo who translated for him. “She said I’ve hated being photographed since I was little. I have the same expression in all my childhood photos.”  </p><p>And Wonwoo was not lying. Wonwoo’s mom showed Junhui all the childhood pictures of Wonwoo they had in the house and Junhui almost never saw a smiling Wonwoo in any of the pictures, unless it was taken without his knowledge. There was one picture of a teenage him playing basketball and he looked so happy, Junhui couldn’t help but stare at it in awe.  </p><p>“Wonwoo-hyung has always loved playing basketball,” said Mingyu. “He was the captain of his middle school team.”  </p><p>Oh wow. Junhui had not known that. He knew Wonwoo played basketball. They even played together with their friends some weekends. But he had never known Wonwoo was a club captain at school. They had known each other for almost six years now, and Junhui thought he knew a lot about Wonwoo, being his housemate and his best friend. But in these two days, Junhui had been finding out just how much he still hadn’t known about the person he believed he was in love with. There were still sides of Jeon Wonwoo Wen Junhui realized he was not familiar with. It was not exactly a nice realization.  </p><p>“It was only for a few months. We relocated to LA in my third year. My parents moved back to South Korea after my high school graduation while I decided to stay for university,” said Wonwoo. He looked at Junhui pointedly as if he could hear what Junhui was thinking. Since that was impossible, unless Wonwoo had a mindreading superpower that he never bothered to mention to Junhui, Junhui decided to ignore him and went back to looking at Wonwoo’s childhood pictures.  </p><p>He was still a little unsettled by the kiss the night before. It was not even a real kiss, since it was on the side of Junhui’s head, but Junhui insisted to himself he had a solid reason to feel as rattled as he was feeling at the moment. Because you didn’t give your housemate slash male best friend a good night kiss on the head while the two of you were in bed together. Especially when said housemate slash best friend was pretending to be a girl for you in front of your family, who was not even in the room with you. It was almost like giving a good night kiss on the forehead. If you did that your housemate slash best friend would get confused because he would not be able to decide if you did it as part of the pretense or because you, <em> well </em>, liked said housemate.  </p><p>If Junhui’s mind were a room, at the moment the inside would look like someone just decided to turn everything in it upside down. You would find a sock and a broken chair stuck on the ceiling and the bed on top of the mattress, and Junhui’s sanity buried somewhere among the pile of clothes and torn book pages. All because of a good night kiss on the head.  </p><p>Junhui had wanted to ask Wonwoo what it had meant earlier this morning, but then decided against it. What if Wonwoo thought it as nothing but a nice gesture to show his appreciation of Junhui’s helping him? Junhui would feel stupid if that was the case, so he just pretended he was not bothered by the kiss. Besides, it was only a good night kiss. It was not even a real kiss. Damn it.  </p><p>*</p><p>[Sunday, September 7, 2020. 3.09 PM] </p><p>Junhui was going to die. Wait. No, he was going to kill Jeon Wonwoo. He had decided the moment they came back to the States that would be the first thing he did. He would kill Jeon Wonwoo with a fork. That would be painful, Junhui thought. And Jeon Wonwoo deserved it.  </p><p>The reason of this rather sudden vindictive thought was the girl, well – young woman, currently pushing Junhui into the changing room with a mountain on outfits she wanted Junhui to try. Women outfits. And Junhui was trying his best to keep the girl from getting into the changing room with him without actually voicing out ‘No bitch, you stay here, I will change by myself’. Eventually, Wonwoo told the girl to leave Junhui to change alone and only then the girl gave in, but not before giving Junhui a stern look. “You have to get out after putting on each outfit, you understand?” she said in English. Junhui nodded and immediately disappeared into the changing room.  </p><p>Just before lunch today, the girl showed up at Wonwoo’s parents’, announcing her presence so unreservedly like she came by all the time. Which seemed to be the case. She looked familiar with Wonwoo’s parents and cousin. But what shocked Junhui the most was that the moment the girl saw Wonwoo, she rushed to him and threw her arms around Wonwoo, saying “Oh my God, you’re really here!” </p><p>Junhui had seen Wonwoo with lots of women before. Most of them he never saw for a second time. Not to say he was not bothered by their mere presence, because who wouldn’t be jealous when seeing the person they liked with someone other than themselves? But Wonwoo was never serious with any of them. The guy was a real player, though Junhui hadn’t seen him with a date for months now. But this girl, Junhui knew the moment he saw her with Wonwoo, was different.  </p><p>Her name was Amy. She was Korean-American and went to the same high school with Wonwoo. She worked for an international consulting company and was transferred to their branch office in this city last year. Since she had known Wonwoo’s family from their high school days, she visited them often after she lived in the same city. And after only half an hour of getting to know Junhui through a very uncomfortable – on Junhui’s part, one-sided conversation, she decided they should go shopping together.  </p><p>That was how Junhui found himself inside the changing room of one of the largest malls in Seoul, struggling to put on a frilly pink dress for the amusement of Wonwoo’s female high school buddy. And Wonwoo had just gone with it. No objection whatsoever.  </p><p>“Thanks so fucking much, boyfriend dear,” he muttered under his breath.  </p><p>The dress had this really long zipper at the back and Junhui almost pulled a muscle trying to zip it up. Getting into the dress alone already took great effort. By the time he finished tying the straps into a passable bow on the right side of his waist Junhui was almost out of breath from exertion. He eyed the pair of seven-inch heels Amy had picked for him skeptically. They looked scary. What if he tripped and broke his ankles? No, Junhui decided, he was not going to wear them. He wouldn’t even need to explain to the girl why. Ha.  </p><p>He could hear voices from the outside. It sounded like Wonwoo and Amy were talking. Junhui was putting on his flat shoes when he caught the tail of Amy’s sentence and decided to pay more attention to the conversation going on outside.  </p><p>“…a job offer in New York and you were there. I just missed you so much I said yes without thinking. I thought, maybe we could try again, you know? It sounded like a good idea at that time. We never really broke up anyway. You just suddenly told me you were going to university in the East Coast and you didn’t expect me to wait for you. God, you were such a jerk. You never even bothered to mention that you were planning to go to NYU. I wonder why I fell for you sometimes, you know?”  </p><p>“Sorry about that,” Junhui heard Wonwoo say. “I still didn’t know what to do with my life at that time. Going to NYU just seemed like a good option.”  </p><p>“Like a said, a jerk,” said Amy, but she was half laughing. “To think I was so excited to tell you about my impending move to New York and finally meeting you. God, Wonwoo you didn’t have a clue how crushed I was after that phone call. I didn’t even get to tell you about my transfer. You just picked up my call and said, ‘Amy, I think I’m in love.’ I was like, ‘What the hell, man?’”</p><p>Wonwoo chuckled, but he sounded apologetic when he said, “Well, your timing was rather off. I was in the middle of a significant identity crisis when you called, and I just blurted it out without thinking.”  </p><p>“You didn’t say,” said Amy. “So yeah. I failed to ask you to get back together and knew then moving to New York was not a good idea, so I called my boss and asked whether he could change my transfer location. It was fortunate he hadn’t finalized the whole thing and offered me a position at the Seoul branch. Saying yes to that was the greatest idea I’ve ever had. Living near your parents is the closest I’ve been to heavens. Your mom cooks the most delicious foods.”  </p><p>“You could’ve just transferred to New York, you know. I would appreciate having you there, still,” said Wonwoo. “And it’s not a bad place to live in, too.” </p><p>“Nah. I didn’t want to be around when you were trying to get together with someone else. I thought I would be very jealous, you know. You know how possessive I can get,” said Amy. “So I was surprised by my own reaction to your girlfriend. I didn’t expect I’d like her, but I did. It’s her, then, the girl you said you were in love with?”  </p><p>“I never said – wait, don’t you think she’s taking a long time in the changing room?”  </p><p>“Yeah. It’s already more than fifteen minutes. I’ll go check,” Amy said.  </p><p>“No,” Wonwoo said immediately. “I’ll go, you stay here.”  </p><p>“It’s girls’ changing room, you know.” </p><p>“And she’s my girlfriend. Just wait here,” Junhui heard Wonwoo said, before there was a knock from the outside.  </p><p>Only then Junhui noticed he was now sitting on the floor of the changing room with his knees bent to his chest. He didn’t remember when he’d slid down the wall. He supposed he’d felt his legs go weak at some point.  </p><p>“Junnie, you okay?” Wonwoo asked from the outside.  </p><p>Junhui struggled to his feet and tried his best to tidy up his rumpled dress in a few short seconds. He almost yelled ‘I’m fine.’ back at Wonwoo before catching himself.  </p><p>“Open the door, I’m coming in.” Wonwoo’s tone bore no argument, so Junhui unlocked the door.  </p><p>“Sorry I’m taking so long. I had trouble trying to put on the shoes,” he said in half a whisper, gesturing at the shoes on the floor.  </p><p>“You heard us,” he stated, not sounding the slightest bit uncertain. Junhui hated him so much, he wished he could say it to Wonwoo’s face.   </p><p>“I didn’t –,” Junhui tried to say, but he felt like a huge lump in his throat was preventing him from voicing more words out. Maybe this was how a real mute person felt, he thought. He clenched his jaws, feeling his face grow hot. The telltale prickle at the corners of his eyes was his last warning before he realized, <em> oh God</em>, he was going to cry.  </p><p>At this very moment, Junhui felt so stupid his mother would be ashamed to have a son like him.   </p><p>* </p><p>[Sunday, September 7, 4.18 PM] </p><p>Junhui felt like he had just experienced the most embarrassing moment in his life and wished so hard a hole would appear under his feet and swallow him whole. But just like most of the things Junhui had ever wished for, it wasn’t granted. So Junhui figured he should have endured the embarrassment for a bit more.   </p><p>In the midst of Junhui’s untimely breakdown, Wonwoo had told Amy they were going to leave first because Junhui was not feeling well. Junhui had been too occupied by trying to gain back control over his emotions he hadn’t bothered to look at her. He supposed he looked kind of ill, that was why Amy had been easily convinced. She wished Junhui a get better soon and Junhui remembered giving her a small nod.  </p><p>Junhui was slightly aware of people’s stares, but Wonwoo’s arm around him was steady and his steps sure. So Junhui tried his best to ignore the stares. He thought Wonwoo was going to take them back to his parents’. But instead, he led Junhui to the elevator and rode it to the second floor where, Junhui learned the moment they stepped out, a hotel lobby was located. Then, to Junhui’s amazement, Wonwoo proceeded to book a room.  </p><p>“I can’t believe you booked us a hotel room!” Junhui half yelled the moment they were inside the elevator taking them to their room. His voice sounded a little off like he’d swallowed too much lime or something. His throat felt sore even though he hadn’t been crying that hard.  </p><p>“We can’t talk at home with my parents around,” Wonwoo said. He still sounded so levelheaded Junhui wanted to claw at his handsome face and ruin it forever.  </p><p>“So you booked us a hotel room to talk?! Who does that? The receptionist probably thinks you’re going to screw me into the mattress all evening.”  </p><p>“She has all the justification she needs to be assuming that,” Wonwoo said. “But what we actually do is none of her business.”  </p><p>The elevator stopped on the eleventh floor and Wonwoo motioned at Junhui to get out before him. Their room was at the far end of the hall. Wonwoo unlocked the door and once again beckoned to Junhui to step in before him. Junhui was baffled by the rare act of gentlemanliness, but he decided not to comment.  </p><p>The room was spacious, but more on the plain side. The king bed was covered in black and white sheets and the cream colored walls were bare except for the lone painting above the headboard. It looked like some scenery in the fall season, of trees with leaves in various shades of yellow, orange, red, and brown. The only furniture in the room was the bed, the nightstand, the table and a lone coach on the far side of the room. Oh, there was a wardrobe by the entrance, Junhui reminded himself. Once he finished his inspection of the room, he turned around to face Wonwoo, who had been watching him silently since they stepped inside. And suddenly everything came rushing back to Junhui.  </p><p>“Go on, then,” said Wonwoo. “You can yell at me all you want now.”  </p><p>So Junhui grabbed a pillow from the bed and threw it at Wonwoo with all the strength he could muster, crying, “You fucking bastard!” and proceeded to call Wonwoo all variations of curses he could think of – from heartless jerkface to stupid pea-brained shithead (which was a little redundant, considering all three words basically meant the same thing).  </p><p>“I hate you so much, I wish I could smash your stupid face and turn you into the ugliest person on earth,” he told Wonwoo. “I was so stupid. Fuck, I was so stupid. I posed as a freaking girl in front of your whole family, pretending to be your girlfriend. I even got a freaking hair extension for you! I lied to your parents without even saying a single word. I know I’m not innocent and pure, but just how bad of a person do you think I am? Do you think I didn’t feel guilty every time your mother told me to eat more food? Or when your family talked to me and I only smiled and pretended I couldn’t speak? But I did it all for you!”  </p><p>Junhui didn’t know when he’d started pacing, but when he realized he was doing it, he couldn’t stop. He ran a hand through his hair for what felt like the hundredth time. His hair had to look like a mess right now, but he couldn’t care less.  </p><p>Junhui let out a shuddered breath. He felt so mad at Wonwoo. He felt cheated. Betrayed. But above all, Junhui felt sad. So sad that Junhui wanted to cry and scream and let Wonwoo know how hard it had been, keeping what he felt from him all this time.  </p><p>“But you know what pissed me off the most?” Junhui went on, “It’s that you lied to me. You lied to me, saying you couldn’t ask anyone else. When all this time, your fucking ex-girlfriend lived here and you could’ve just asked her. You wouldn’t have needed to buy her a fucking plane ticket, even. I don’t know why you had to ask me. And you made me say yes, you fucking prick. You tricked me. And I’m so stupid. You said I’m your best friend, but you lied to me, Wonwoo. You keep things from me. You told your fucking ex about it but you didn’t tell me. You should’ve told me you’re in love with someone, you asshole. It would’ve saved me all the trouble. You didn’t know how I felt all this time, being around you and seeing you bringing a different girl every week. You should’ve told me you’re actually in love with someone, then I could’ve stopped hoping. But damn it, you didn’t even have the guts to say it to that person. Or else you wouldn’t even need to ask me to pretend for you. Jeon Wonwoo, you’re an utter bastard. And I hate you so fucking much.” </p><p>Junhui stopped his pacing, feeling his legs starting to hurt, and dropped onto the couch. He finally did it. He told Wonwoo how he felt about him, though not straightforwardly. Junhui felt a bizarre sense of relief wash over him. He was free now. It was all out in the open and he didn’t need to pretend he didn’t love Wonwoo any longer. But Wonwoo loved someone else. And Junhui finally found out what it meant to have your heart broken into pieces.  </p><p>Wonwoo was still standing at the same spot since they came in. Junhui had this urge to push him against the wall and either punch him or kiss him, he couldn’t decide which one he wanted to do the most. It was a good thing he was too tired to do any physical pushing then, he thought. Doing that would require him to stand up and walk. He’d rather stay seated and breathe, thank you very much.  </p><p>“Now say something, you dick. You’re making me feel even more like an idiot,” said Junhui.  </p><p>Junhui was not really sure if he wanted to know what Wonwoo was thinking, to be honest. What would any straight guy think upon finding out their guy friend was actually in love with them? Freaked out, Junhui guessed. Maybe Wonwoo was freaking out and wasn’t capable of making coherent conversation at the moment. Maybe he was trying to decide the most polite way to turn Junhui down. Like, <em> Junhui I know you’re a great person and all, but I don’t like dicks </em>. Nah, Wonwoo wouldn’t put it that way. He was way too proper for that kind of crass language. Maybe he would say, ‘While I’m flattered that you possess such feelings toward me, I regret to say that I cannot return them, Junhui. As you know, I only like women.’ Yeah, that sounded more like Wonwoo.  </p><p>“You’re off into your own head, aren’t you?” Wonwoo’s voice sounded closer than it was supposed to be, it startled Junhui out of his rumination. When he gained back awareness of his surroundings, he noticed that Wonwoo was now standing right in front of him and Junhui was currently staring at his crotch. Junhui tipped his head back to look at Wonwoo’s face. And Wonwoo, the bastard, was actually smiling at him. Not a smirk, but a real, perfectly curved smile. Junhui wanted so much to kiss that smile. Oh dear, he thought. <em> Wen </em> <em>  Junhui, you’re doomed </em>.  </p><p>“Wen Junhui, you’re such an idiot,” was what Wonwoo finally said. Junhui only stared at Wonwoo uncomprehendingly because Wonwoo was shaking his head and he was still smiling. That smile should have come with a caution, Junhui thought. It turned Junhui’s brain cells into mush the moment he saw it.  </p><p>“And you don’t really hate me, now do you?”   </p><p>Junhui shook his head, still unable to produce words.  </p><p>Wonwoo moved. Junhui thought he was going to take a seat on the couch next to him, but to Junhui’s mortification, Wonwoo actually dropped down to the floor and sat crossed legs right in front of him.  </p><p>“What the hell are you doing?” Junhui asked, because nothing could surprise someone into gaining back their vocal functions like witnessing their best friend who never sat on the floor did exactly that.  </p><p>“Getting comfortable,” Wonwoo said matter-of-factly. “And talking to you.”  </p><p>“You’re sitting on the floor,” Junhui said, pointing out the obvious.  </p><p>“I know. It’s more comfortable like this. I want to be able to look at your face while I’m talking to you,” said Wonwoo. “Now, since we established that you’re an idiot and you don’t actually hate me, we should move on, shall we?”   </p><p>“What the –”  </p><p>Wonwoo put his forefinger in front of his lips as a ‘just shut up for now’ gesture and Junhui was forced to cut his exclamation short.  </p><p>“For your information, Amy and I went out in high school. It was more than eight years ago. And we broke up when I left for university. We never got back together after that. Even though it turned out she wanted to get back with me last year, it never actually happened because she didn’t ask me. And even if she did, I would’ve said no. Because yes, as a matter of fact, I am in love with someone else. I have been for a while. This person I’m in love with is rather oblivious. I’ve been working hard to make them realize that I, in fact, have feelings for them. But this person just never gets it. I tried making them jealous by bringing a different date every week, that didn’t work. I treated them as my date, I called them sweetheart and baby in front of everyone. They still didn’t get it. I touched them every chance I had, and <em>that </em>sometimes got me a reaction, but they still thought I was only playing around. So I thought I should take them home and introduce them to my parents. And I did ask them, you know. And they said yes.”  </p><p>“So why didn’t you take her, then? Why am I here instead of her?” asked Junhui, still not comprehending why Wonwoo was telling him all this. He was also still recovering from the anguish that shot through him from hearing Wonwoo admitting that he was indeed in love with someone else.   </p><p>“Because, Junhui, you idiot, there was no her. I did ask someone to come with me, didn’t I? That someone is the person I’m in love with. And he is so oblivious, even now he still doesn’t get that I’m practically declaring my love for him.”  </p><p>“Wait. What?” Junhui stared at Wonwoo, incredulous. “You love me??”  </p><p>Wonwoo gave Junhui a self-deprecating smile and shrugged. “That’s what I’ve been trying to put across for the last ten minutes, yes. A normal person would already get it right about now, honestly.”  </p><p>“Wait. But I – All this time, I’ve been in love with you too,” Junhui said. He couldn’t believe he finally got to say it like that. That single ‘too’ added a whole new perspective to this matter. Like, <em> wow, it’s actually not as one-sided as he thought after all </em>.  </p><p>“I know,” said Wonwoo. “You’re an open book. Anyone who knows where to look would be able to see what you’re feeling. I’ve been looking, you know. That’s why I said you’re an idiot. You’re too occupied by your own feelings that you fail to notice I’ve been trying to get you to see that I feel the same. You’re always looking at me too, but you don’t really see me, do you?”  </p><p>Junhui stared at Wonwoo some more. “What the hell are you talking about?” he said. “Of course I see you.”  </p><p>Wonwoo chuckled and shook his head in amusement. Trust him to get amused when they were actually talking about <em>feelings </em>.  </p><p>“Why don’t you get down here, then?” he told Junhui.  </p><p>“Why should I?” asked Junhui because, well, he just felt like arguing some more.  </p><p>“Because I’ve been thinking of kissing you for a long time and I would like to do it now. So if you could come down here and let me kiss you, it would be very nice. That’s why,” said Wonwoo.  </p><p>Junhui could say ‘Well, why don’t get up instead? The couch is a lot more comfortable than the floor.’ But arguing lost all its appeal now that Wonwoo had mentioned kissing. Junhui would rather kiss Wonwoo than argue with him, yes. So Junhui said, “Oh. Okay.” and scrambled down to the floor and let Wonwoo catch him.  </p><p>They kissed. And it was everything like the kiss Junhui imagined his first kiss with Wonwoo would be, though for some reason Junhui’s imaginations had never involved a floor. He always thought Wonwoo was too dignified to kiss him on the floor. It turned out he was mistaken. Junhui was never happier to be wrong, though. And he thought he should stop thinking and just enjoy his first kiss with Wonwoo instead. Yes, that was a very good idea.  </p><p>* </p><p>[Sunday, September 7, 2020. 5.12 PM] </p><p>Wonwoo had one arm around Junhui’s back and another on the back of his neck. Junhui’s hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they had been exploring every single surface of Wonwoo’s clothed body they could reach. But then Wonwoo retreated the hand he had on Junhui’s back to seize one of Junhui’s wandering hands and then placed it on his shoulder. He grabbed Junhui’s other hand after that, and put it on his other shoulder. “Don’t get me too worked up,” he said against Junhui’s lips. “I don’t want our first time to be on the floor of a nondescript hotel room.”  </p><p>“Oh. Okay,” whispered Junhui, before going on to nibble on Wonwoo’s lower lip some more.  </p><p>* </p><p>[Sunday, September 7, 2020. 5.28 PM] </p><p>They finally broke apart.   </p><p>Wonwoos lips were swollen and pink, and his face was flushed like he had just finished his morning run. Junhui imagined he probably looked just the same, and found himself extremely happy about it.  </p><p>“You’re also an idiot, you know,” he told Wonwoo. He still had his hands around Wonwoo’s neck and kept them there because he liked having Wonwoo close. “You could’ve just told me outright that you feel the same about me. Then we could’ve been together for a long time now.”  </p><p>Wonwoo smirked. No, Junhui hated that smirk. Why did it have to make a comeback now?  </p><p>“Well, I could, but where’s the fun in that? Besides, we’ve always been together. You just never noticed.”  </p><p>“What. You mean you’ve been with me while dating girls after girls on the side?”  </p><p>Wonwoo shook his head. “I know you’re dense, Junnie. But I did expect you would notice I actually have not been dating any girls for months now. I stopped when I figured getting you jealous wouldn’t help in getting you to admit your feelings.” </p><p>Junhui gaped in incredulity. “So you were trying to get me to confess to you??” he said.  </p><p>“Well, I gave up on that too,” Wonwoo admitted. “I figured you’re in too deep you wouldn’t even consider confessing to me as an option.”  </p><p>“And what does that even mean?” asked Junhui, somewhat feeling offended despite not fully understanding Wonwoo’s words. He just knew it meant Wonwoo was belittling Junhui’s intelligence as usual.  </p><p>“It means you’re an idiot.” </p><p>See?  </p><p>“So you decided I should pretend to be your girlfriend in front of your parents?” Junhui went on.  </p><p>“It was only an idea I came up with. I didn’t think you would actually go along with it,” said Wonwoo. “I just really wanted you to meet my parents. I thought I would just get you to come with me and introduce you as my roommate. But then you started arguing with me, which I took as a sign that you were actually considering it. Then I thought it would be quite fun to see you act as a girl.” Wonwoo shrugged and gave Junhui an actual sheepish look. “You make a really pretty girlfriend.”  </p><p>“Is that what you want then, a girlfriend?”  </p><p>“I thought we already agreed that what I want is you, did we not?”  </p><p>“Well,” Junhui trailed off. “Just checking. So, you’ve had your fun, haven’t you?”  </p><p>“Yes, I did,” said Wonwoo, using the arm he still had around Junhui’s lower back to push him closer. “And I like having you on my lap. We should stay like this a lot.”  </p><p>“I think that can be arranged,” said Junhui, shifting a little to get comfortable. “Now then, should we stop all the pretense and tell your parents I’m actually not their future daughter-in-law and I can actually speak?”  </p><p>Wonwoo’s expression turned contemplative at Junhui’s suggestion. After a moment, he said, “I don’t think that is a good idea. I can’t guarantee my mom won’t send you packing if we tell her.”  </p><p>Junhui frowned, feeling a bit dejected that he had to keep pretending until they left Korea.  </p><p>“Let’s keep this up for a while. We can think of a way to tell them another time. In the future. Okay?” said Wonwoo.  </p><p>“Okay.” Junhui nodded. Because Wonwoo had said ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ and it made all the difference. He then added, “You’re still paying rent for the next two months.” before Wonwoo decided they should call off their agreement.  </p><p>Wonwoo gave him a resigned smile. “I know.” </p><p>* </p><p>[Monday, September 13, 2020. 10.10 AM] </p><p>They had a tearful goodbye in front of the departure terminal. Wonwoo’s mom cried as she hugged her son and said something long and reproachful sounding to him. Wonwoo hugged her back, nodding and saying ‘Yes, mom.” over and over. Wonwoo and his dad shared a manly hug complete with back patting. </p><p>Junhui rather liked Wonwoo’s dad, he was so calm and collected, Junhui couldn’t help but feel relaxed when being around him. Wonwoo’s mother though, Junhui adored her. It saddened him to think that she might hate him when she found out he was not a real girl. She gave him a hug just like the one she’d given her son, and handed a small shopping bag to Junhui when they broke apart. Junhui hugged her once again to thank her.  </p><p>Mingyu couldn’t come along since he had classes, but he had his own version of tearful goodbye with Wonwoo and gave Junhui a framed picture of the three of them together as a farewell gift, taken by Wonwoo’s mom at their first dinner together. Junhui thought it was very sweet.  </p><p>They checked in after saying their goodbyes. This time Junhui smiled readily when the customs officer looked at him funny. Nothing could ruin his current good mood.  </p><p>Once they arrived at the waiting room, Junhui went to find an empty men’s restroom to change. He entered a stall and promptly exchanged his long-sleeved shirt and plaid knee-length skirt with a pair of jeans and a baggy T-shirt he’d kept inside his bag before they left to the airport. After he finished changing and tied his hair up, he got out of the stall to wash his face and remove the makeup. He didn’t think he would miss wearing makeup, but he didn’t hate it as much as he had before. He looked at the mirror once he was done, and saw his reflection smiling broadly at him, obviously happy and completely male.  </p><p>Junhui was about to leave the restroom and go back to where Wonwoo was waiting when he remembered the gift from Wonwoo’s mom. He took out the small bag and found a small rectangular box and a note inside. Junhui decided to read the note first. It was written in English. Well, he thought, Wonwoo’s family had lived in the US for a while, hadn’t they?  </p><p>The note said:  </p><p><em> “ </em> <em> I raised my son with my own hands, and I’ve hugged him countless times. I could see from the first time I hugged you you’re just like my son.  </em> </p><p><em> My son is a good man </em><em>and has a good head on</em><em> his shoulders. But he</em><em> can come up with silly ideas</em><em> sometimes. I hope you will continue keeping an eye on him for me, and reason with him when he is about to do more silly things in the future.  </em> </p><p><em> Thank you for coming to our house. Let’s meet again and get to know each</em><em> other better in the future.”  </em> </p><p>Junhui was struck speechless for a moment. Fuck, Wonwoo’s mom was super awesome. When he regained his senses, he took out the small box and found a pair of silver cufflinks inside.   </p><p>Junhui let out a gleeful laugh.  </p><p>He was going to keep this a secret from Wonwoo. Serve him right for assuming he could fool a mother's instinct.  </p><p> </p><p>* </p><p> </p><p>[postscript] </p><p>And so they led a happy life together, and argued a lot.  </p><p>-the end-  </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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